Desperate Times, Desperate Dragons [Private]

Kagutsuchi... the meddlesome dragon. Frankly speaking, the antics of that dragon could almost bring a smile to the Danava's face; almost... Sadly, her emotional capacity, while gently increasing due to Hiroe's presence alone, had not increased enough to give her the necessary emotions to properly show them with facial expressions. However, the Danava listened quite calmly, reaching over to pull a folded piece of clothing to her chest, which was the Kimono Hiroe had made for Kimitsuki on the first day they had met; on the first day they became teacher and student... The first day they became friends.

Kimitsuki listened to Hiroe, her cold fireless eyes refusing to leave the bright golden ones that bore into her; her hand initially refusing to return the comfort. However, the more Hiroe spoke, her hand finally returned the grasp, holding the warm hand as if desperate for the warmth it held; and also refusing to let go. Simply speaking, once Hiroe had finished, Kimitsuki's head tilted gently as she peered at the woman, her cold red eyes boring into those bright golden eyes; searching for deceit. There was none... every inch, every letter and word of Hiroe's statements were truthful and honest. However... even if her apology was accepted, some of her actions were quite unforgivable; at least at this moment. All wounds mended with time... and luckily, Hiroe had betrayed no trusts, which made things quite a lot easier.

"Hmmm... You are forgiven, Hiroe... But I'm afraid wounds and scars do not heal, nor fade, so easily. You must learn to master your fear, because only fools fear death; it is an inevitable part of life that all of us must meet at some point. Be it now, tomorrow, or thousands of years in the future... Do not be a fool, dear student. Be a true warrior, who uses their fear properly; who is not controlled by rash decisions when their fear overwhelms. And to lose sight of one's dream, one's self... that is a kind of death as well."

Kimitsuki tilted her head at Hiroe again, examining the woman closely. Indeed, there was a bit of warmth in her skin now, making her feel less cold, but she was not quite the same as she was before; her warm countenance and fiery eyes had not yet lit. There was more Hiroe needed to do, it seemed, more she needed to answer for.

"Every being in this world is afraid of something, afraid of death is the most common. But you know what the worse fear is, Hiroe? The fear of loss. Can you imagine the pain it brings to those who suffer it, even if those who they have lost are not dead; yet still leave them be? You won't ever find a kinder being in this world than I, one who understands life in a way that many could never understand. Do not let your dreams fade, no matter how life tries to scare you, how your life is threatened, no matter how much you think those you wish to love might be out of reach; push against the grain, strive for greatness... Otherwise you will always amount to nothing. Nothing in this world is free, there is always a price..."

Kimitsuki's eyes seemed to soften gently, a little bit more heat returning to her being; but still not enough.

"Your friends, your loved one... ME... We would always help you. Never, ever, hide from us again, Hiroe... Or you shall lose more than you ever could understand. Promise me... and tell me what else you have thought of during our time apart... and, Hiroe; do not let shame push you away. Only true fools let obstacles prevent them from achieving their dream; and those dreams are impossible without loved ones... Without me, without us..."

Finally, the Danava's eyes fell from Hiroe's eyes, her hand holding Hiroe's hand tight as her overwhelming emotions starting to break through the cracks of her Berserk state; not in a dangerous way, but in a way that Hiroe would have to deal with once Kimitsuki finally broke free from her shell of self loathing. After all... Hiroe did come back... For her.

Hiroe listened to Kimitsuki's speech as she held the woman's hand at her bedside. Heartfelt words. Though her tone felt cold and distant, the crimson-haired woman was pouring her heart out in earnest supplication. In a vein similar to Kagutsuchi, she spoke about how there were things far worse than death. The fear of loss. The fear of losing one's self. She told her master her fear, to be brave, and strive for her dream. Each word should have certainly struck a chord in her soul, but there was no spark yet. Her heart remained barren of that hopeful rhythm. Hiroe laid beside the woman, leaning on her shoulder as she squeezed her hand.

Come on. She's trying her best to get through to me. Can't you be strong for her sake?

A soft sigh escaped her lips as the woman posed a question. She didn't want to envision a future without her or anyone else she cared about, but how could she move past it? The fear of death still haunted her. The scenario that shook her soul repeated in a perpetual cycle. It was as if Hiroi's actions had rooted an anchor in her soul, and her back was being shattered under it's collective weight. The shame festering within was unbearable.

Even so, she had support, there were those who genuinely loved her, who cared about her dream - a dream she rejected out of fear at being viewed in a shameful light by her peers. She was supposed to be the true image of a death god, and she unraveled at the worst possible moment. What purpose was there for her now? Fear was ever-present. If she pursued this dream, she would inevitably be drawn towards missions where she life would be wagered.

"I promise I'll try, but... it's been really hard trying to move past my fear, Kimi. I appreciate everything you say, and I admire you and your strength... I want to pursue my dream, but I'm afraid. What point is there in dreaming if you die before you see it come to fruition?"

The Danava listened and watched Hiroe with those cold red eyes, her monotone voice currently held back in respect for the woman's need for silence and also her need for speech; waiting quietly as Hiroe spoke and laid next to the Danava. Kimitsuki gave her hand a gentle squeeze despite her lack of true emotion, which seemed to be melting away the longer Hiroe remained. After Kimitsuki had listened, her eyes narrowed as if scrutinizing the woman before her; wondering truly what it was she was trying to get at. Death? If she abandoned her dreams all because she was afraid she might die... she was already dead. Maybe not physically. But, spiritually? She would be dead for not chasing her dreams, emotionally lost because she refused to chase after what she truly loved just because of a simple fear. That was no way to live...

"If you run away from your dreams, Hiroe... you're already dead. Your dreams will die before you do, and then you will die without your honest and true dreams realized; with a soul and mound clouded only by grief and regret. And you shall not try, Hiroe; you will do all you can. You have found your first great roadblock to your dream, and you run... Death is imminent for every warrior, for every being; for everything. But life is a blessing we have since birth, and you should never waste it on nothing less than chasing your dreams. Besides, Hiroe... you have me to help you. You have your family, your friends, classmates, the other teachers; dreams are built upon the shoulders of believers. And true strength and bravery is born from chasing your dreams... Not from running from death. After all... Death is just another great adventure..."

Kimitsuki let out a soft sigh, having listened to Hiroe and soon seemed to melt into a different form, her hair returning to it's more vibrant color, her eyes gaining some manner of a spark, and emotions seemed to flood back to her as she held Hiroe's hand tighter, pulling the women a little closer as she carefully hugged her with her other arm; a gentle warmth spreading through the room and into Hiroe. Eventually, Kimitsuki hugged Hiroe a bit tighter, the warmth from the Danava becoming more apparent as she finally came out of her shell; so to speak. Afterwards, Kimitsuki looked at her student reproachfully, poking her side a little too aggressively; enough to hurt, but not really intended to actually harm. Just... the poke of a really irritated friend.

"Stop trying to endure this all alone... You have friends, loved ones... you have me, Hiroe. You have so much life to live, so much to become as a Shinigami; as a woman. Do you really intend to throw it all away just because you came upon one near death experience? Stand up and fight, dammit! Don't cower and hide just because something made you uncomfortable, Hiroe. You're a strong woman, so stand and fight! And ask for help, Hiroe... Do you think the greatest got where they were on their own? They had help to get there. I don't ask you to promise that spark will come back easily, that you'll be able to bounce right back... but I ask you to do your best! And..."

Tears began to fill the Danava's eyes, the return of emotion flooding her with an immense amount of emotions that threatened to overflow in a relentless fury. She grabbed the front of Hiroe's clothes with her free hand, her other still holding onto Hiroe's hand with a great refusal to let go.

"And don't leave your friends behind ever again, Hiroe! For we are nothing without those we care for... nothing..."

Then came the flood, Kimitsuki burying her face into Hiroe's shoulder as she wept silently, tears escaping her eyes akin to a great flood; her weeping surprisingly silent as she held Hiroe tight, refusing to let go of her start student, her dear friend... She didn't want to lose her again, on pain of death even. What was life, what was existence, without the ones you love? Fear, death, all of it was nothing in comparison to being alone... and of everything, being alone, truly alone, was what Kimitsuki, the Danava of Fire, was scared of the most.

There was so much to take in, but Hiroe maintained the ideal state of focus as she listened to the crimson-haired woman's response. She understood the nature of the words, but, and she didn't want to tell her... it really only increased her spirits enough to entertain the idea. Death was frightening, after all. She had never thought all that deeply on it before, but how could anyone view something so sudden, so final, as a great adventure? Was she looking at it from the wrong angle? Or was she simply a coward the entire time?

It was all so difficult to interpret, but the visible smile in her countenance at least indicated that she understood the sincerity of Kimitsuki's words. The poking to her side caused her to chuckle sheepishly as she noted the woman's reproachful expression. She sort of acknowledged that next part was gonna come eventually, and it was entirely justified. At the very least, she could clearly see the emotion returning to Kimitsuki's visage, and that made her happy. The hug, the gentle warmth, it gave her a gradual sense of comfort she hadn't felt before she came here. A genuine sense of hope. Hiroe turned towards Kimitsuki as the fiery woman's emotions spilled forth, as her eyes grew wet with tears, as she buried her head in the woman's shoulders. She wasn't being unreasonable. She wasn't requesting something impossible of her. She simply wanted Hiroe to embrace those around her, to avoid isolating herself from those who desperately wished to help her. For a moment, Hiroe was at a loss of words. She was a young woman, and a conversation of this magnitude to take in, but she knew one thing. For her sake, for her own sake...

She'd try. She'd do her best. That was all she could do. It wasn't the entire remedy, but it was something, and that quite honestly, was all that truly mattered.

"I won't, Kimitsuki. I promise I won't isolate myself again. I'll try my best."

She wrapped her arms around the crimson-haired woman, hugging her as she shook her head. She didn't know how much of those words she believed or if they were spoken with the vigor and conviction she usually prided herself on, but it was genuine. She did want to try again at the very least. Whether that maintained or not... that would be a tell for a different time...

"D-Do or do not, Hiroe... However, I appreciate your words; I appreciate that you came here even if Kagutsuchi kinda made you come... Because you had no reason to agree. It's really good to see you, my dear student and friend... When you get back to school, come the start of the week, you'll have to work hard to catch up."

Kimitsuki gave Hiroe a small smile before she resumed holding the woman tight, in a grip that spoke of refusal to let her go, refusal to let her flee... Refusal to see her gone without the knowledge that she would see her again; without a doubt. However, Kimitsuki knew that Hiroe couldn't stay here forever. After all, this was Kimitsuki's house and not Hiroe's; and it was likely that Hiroe needed to return home before a certain time or her parents would become concerned. However, Kimitsuki was loathe to release Hiroe. She finally had her star student back and she wasn't about to let her go. For now at least.

She continued to hold the woman, the silent flow of tears slowly beginning to stem and cease; until Kimitsuki was no longer crying against Hiroe. Frankly speaking, as Hiroe laid there with the woman, it was likely very easy to notice that the Kimono Hiroe had made for her was folded neatly on the bed; next to Kimi. As if some form of comfort, it was there. However, the Danava soon made a tiny sniffling sound, gave Hiroe one more rather tight squeeze before she carefully pushed herself away, rubbing her eyes on her sleeve.

"S-Sorry... I've been holding that in for a bit too long and it all kinda just... well. Nevermind. I'm glad you came, Hiroe, and I'm glad you're going to try; but I hope you do your best instead. It is best we do or do not instead of try, most of the time. If we do our best, instead of try, then there is no telling what we can do in the end~ Just uh... be warned. I'm going to be taking it a bit harder on you in your training now."

Kimitsuki smiled at Hiroe, that warm countenance in her being likely permeating Hiroe; assuring her of her safety just that tiniest bit. However, Kimitsuki soon gave Hiroe one more tight hug before the Danava rose from the bed, picking Hiroe up a tiny bit and placed the woman on the edge of the bed. A quick stretch, the popping of a few bones, and Kimitsuki turned to Hiroe, smiling warmly still. Now was the time to do something instead of wallowing in self pity. Hiroi had sewn the seed of such an action, and Hiroe had given the seed what it needed to grow; both women helping Kimitsuki greatly and dearly. She pet Hiroe on the head and smiled gently, ready to take Hiroe home now that there was no need to worry about Kimitsuki overmuch.

"I should get you home... Goodness knows I'm glad it didn't suffer much damage. I would've hated to see the place as anything but what you and your family have made it. Ah, but I digress... when you're ready, we can leave. Oh and, by the way... Hiroi wants to talk to you when you have a chance. She's not... She's not who tried to harm you before, I promise. But, she wants to apologize for the actions of the one who did threaten you, even if it wasn't her. Give her a chance, alright? She's not bad... she just had a Danava with a very unfortunate past..."

Once Hiroe was ready, Kimitsuki would take Hiroe's hand, help her off the Danava's bed, and guide her through the Kyoraku estate to a proper exit, where Kagutsuchi would take them to Hiroe's house once she was wholly ready. After all, Kimitsuki wasn't going to force Hiroe to return... but it was likely for the best that she didn't spend all her time at Kimi's abode anyways. Kimitsuki was quite sure she needed a bit of time to collect her thoughts. It's not every day that such things like this happened. Besides... Kimi knew Hiroe was strong, and she would need to be. After all, Kimitsuki was going to give Hiroe the fiercest regime... so that she could feel honestly strong again.

Do or do not. There is no try. Hm... why did that sound so familiar? HIroe wondered, stretching her arms out as she noted the relief in Kimitsuki's expression, her countenance returned to it's warm and charismatic vigor. She was an admirable woman, by all accounts, and Hiroe would have certainly found her mood worsened by Kimitsuki unraveling at the seams, of losing a woman who genuinely wished for her success. She didn't know what the future held, but at least she could try. Right now, that's all she could promise. Though, a sheepish chuckle escaped her lips at the prospect of experiencing some brutal training in the upcoming week, but she'd made her bed. She'd certainly have to lay in it as well.


"I wouldn't say I didn't have a reason, Kimi. Even if i came here at Kagutsuchi's behest, I care about you too much to let you be the next thing I lose outside of my courage. If anything, he just reminded me of how badly I messed up in isolating so many people away from me. I've almost burned a few bridges, but I'm glad I avoided burning this one today. I genuinely care about you, Kimitsuki. I'm... sorry for being so stubborn, but I'll do my best."

After the crimson-haired woman patted her head, Hiroe rose up from the bed to walk beside her as she yawned. Truth be told, this day exhausted her in a sense. Kagutsuchi's refusal to leave, witnessing a side of Kimitsuki she had never seen before, and the fear of losing someone she genuinely thought was cool to be around? Yeah. The moment she got home, she was going to take a long rest. She felt she'd deserved that much. Before she stepped through the door to follow Kimitsuki, that frighteningly familiar name reared it's head into their conversation.


The author of her doubt, the orchestrator of her fear. The nightmarish image of that ineffable sight haunted her even now. Hiroe didn't vocalize it, but the mere idea of sharing another room with her was a stretch. She supposed, perhaps, that it might be an avenue towards closure, but neither did she desire to do so anytime soon. Not now. Even so, she simply answered -

"I'll consider it."

It was rather curt, a short reply that certainly indicated her reticence towards the idea. If she was going to be hanging around Kimitsuki again, their paths would inevitably cross. As such, perhaps she'd have to try sooner than she intended. For now, she simply walked beside her crimson-haired companion, returning to her home to retire for the night, righting one wrong in a series of many.

And yet, still, there were more to come.